I just got in from a dear friend’s beautiful wedding. Everything about the wedding was perfect, including the sunny 27 degrees on October 9th, in Toronto. The only thing not perfect was what was going on south of my ankles: pain and blisters.
I was happy to have lost enough weight to fit into a dress I only wore once before. Great, right? But none of my dressy shoes or sandals fit anymore or are comfortable. Ever since a car accident six years ago, my feet have changed shape and size. Because of my injuries, for a long time I had a misaligned pelvis and loose ligaments in my knees and ankles. This changed my gait and the way I balance. Pre-accident, I had high arches, size 10. Post-accident, my arches fell completely, over time. Imagine what that does to a foot: it makes it longer and wider. Now I’m a size 11.5 Wide.
Because of the delicate state of my ankles, I simply could not feel supported wearing heels over half an inch for the last six years. Feeling stronger now, I tried tonight. Put on size 11.5 pumps in normal width. I was surprised that they felt okay – for exactly 20 minutes. During the drive to the ceremony, I began feeling the inevitable. I was in scrunched foot agony. The difference between normal and wide width is tremendous.
This whole thing was a reminder that having one aspect of yourself so out of balance (like pain) affects everything else. It’s such an energy drain. It affects all behaviour; I was avoiding walking to other tables to mingle. But I couldn’t sit in my chair all night. The groovy tunes demanded my presence on the dance floor, so I kicked off the shoes and boogied in my stockings. Yeah, I was that lady.
I must find dressy, sexy shoes that look great and fit well and are comfortable for at least six hours of wearing and walking time. For most women, this is an afternoon’s delight. For me, it’s a mission. My new foot size is hard to find. Pickings so far get me cushioned, vinyl cafeteria-lady loafers, cheap, gawdy street-strutter stilettos or moccasins. I’m too young, too prudish and too white for those options.
I expect I’ll have to pay through the nose (all the way down to the toes) for such shoes. But it will be so worth it. I’ll be free to walk when dressed up without considering every blister-rubbing step. And I’ll have more fun at weddings.
Congratulations to Sheri-Anne and Dexter! May you step into your joint journey with comfort and joy.
